How I Learned to Heal My Core Issues
When we experience something negative in life, we create stories to fill in the blanks of why this happened, stories of “I am not good enough”, “I failed”, or “I am not worthy enough to be loved”. When we believe it, we incorporate it. The word incorporate literally means to bring into the body, to become a part of it. Beliefs live in our energy system and become wired in our ways of thinking and feeling on a root level.
Over the years, when I spent time with my journal, I noticed my own foundational rooted energy, a false belief that I am not worthy or good enough to be loved. As a person who needs to logically understand and uncover the evidence, I asked myself, “Where did these stories come from”? I made another mental list in my journal, the accounting of debits and credits of my life story, the evidence buried in the ledger. It is the “as evidenced by” part of the equation:
Life “evidence” + incorporating the story = core issue
- “If you weren’t here, I’d be riding a motorcycle around the country free and happy.”
- “If you get a B instead of an A, I’ll love you less”.
- “Mother’s love unconditionally, father’s love is conditional”.
These basic elements in my body created a sticky, hard compound and a foundation I used for many years to build my thoughts that I wasn’t worth anything. Amplify this with being an intuitive empath, sensitive and vulnerable, I didn’t know how to deal with the emotions I experienced and I felt weak. I gained more power through appeasing other people, I did what I was told, and dialed my creative self back.
Rooted beliefs are the same thing as having a core issue. Something brought into the body and spirit by way of repeated stories, repeated experiences, and then further solidified by repeated choices. Statements you hear from family, friends, teachers, elders, or simply anyone you respect can harm and stick like glue years longer than you want it to, and you aren’t always aware this is happening.
I call my core belief of not being worthy my gobstopper. When I wrote this down in my journal, at first I wasn’t sure why I called it that, but then I knew. A gobstopper is a hard piece of candy with an everlasting shell on the outside, but when you break through each outer layer, you eventually find that hidden within is a sweet, sweet center that is delicious and so worth it!
Here are 4 types of core issues you might need to explore and heal:
Start to become aware of your true ability to overcome problems through willpower and self discipline. Make new choices and healthy patterns for self love. Sit with yourself for 5 minutes a day in silence. Write in your journal for a set period of time in the morning and commit to it. You have the strength and the ability to allow new things in your life. You get to make the choice if you are willing to be open. Are you willing to start again? Are you willing to forgive? You do have spiritual strength and courage to endure and try again.
Stop sticking to the past of what didn’t work and allow new energies to infuse your life. Don’t be afraid to move on out of old mental ideas and constructs. Give it a month and try talking to yourself with new statements:
I am ready to let go of outdated beliefs and try new things.
I am allowing and willing to allow more love in me and my life.
Say affirmations out-loud:
“I can love me”
“I do love me”
“I forgive me”
“I thank me”
Emotionally feel and understand the resonate truth that all cycles turn and change. There are laws in the Universe that what goes up, must come down and what goes down, must come up. Think of the symbolism of a great Ferris wheel. When you ride with the cycles of life, know that when the cycle goes down, it has nothing to do about you and your worth. Sadness and grief are just parts of the nature of loss, and it is not about you being less worthy because you experienced it. Use this knowledge to emotionally heal. Know for certain that what you experienced before in life will not always be a truth for you. Be present to what is here now, as this moment in life will change. It is certain.
Continue to study self improvement. Take seminars and courses to be around people of like mind. Having a physical community of other people who are going through the same kinds of things is very supportive and helpful. When you apply effort into your life and continue to look at it from the viewpoint of “what can l learn about myself today”, it makes it more about the journey and less about the outcome of your destination. Continue this work as a labor of love and love your physical body as you progress. Buy a new outfit, go have a spa day, or listen to your favorite piece of music.
Other simple ways to enjoy physical healing:
- Sound healing
- Placing a hand on your heart every morning as you wake up and remind yourself that it beats for you everyday because it loves you.
- Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day.
I encourage you to write out and question your false rooted beliefs. Are they really true? Really, really? As my inner self said to me during a mediation once,
“Sometimes your truths are illusions”.
Worth is intrinsic, there is nothing you have to prove that you are worthy. If you need help with this, let me know. I find that seeking assistance from another provides a leg up to help you seek your own truth.