5 Reasons To Make Peace With Your Younger Self
“Aging is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and strength”Betty Friedan
I tried using that quote to my inner 25 year old when I turned 42, but she had another idea. She was too busy telling me that I was “too old”, wasn’t as beautiful or sassy, as she saw things as having to be a certain way in order for it be right. “Um, you’re supposed to be this way, not that way”. But, being right is cerebral, and she was being a brainy little bitch.
She’s my harshest critic and while I wanted to exorcise her out, excise her like a tumor, I had to remember that she is a piece of me and until death do us part.
Us, me… Us both, are we.
So, I had to give us both a voice and find how to let us be at peace.
I wanted to heal my personal relationship to my younger self and her ideals, so I made a ceremony in front of my mirror with a bunch of lit candles and a pad of huge construction paper, and on my hands and knees, I wrote to her. I felt every piece of anger, sadness, and shame she was feeling, and let out my inner younger shadow.
When we integrate our younger versions of self and our older versions of self into our conscious minds and hearts, it is from this place of clarity that we uncover the light we have always possessed and can recognize our own strengths. After-all, healing is revealing… all of our TRUE selves.
Okay, younger self who still lives inside of me! It is time that you and I had a meeting of the minds, a crossing of the river of thought and time to the same side, as we are on the same team. Team Jenn. You want my wisdom and truth of self, yet you break down at every turn possible into mean statements and limiting beliefs. Yes, I am older now, I have more flab and wrinkles and a body that you think isn’t as alluring as you. I have eyes that are sinking into my head, I have legs that are less firm and more soft, but I feel with my whole heart more than you were able to. I might be “too old”, as you say, but I’ve learned how to stand strong on my own two feet and I know who I am. I have inner confidence and strength. I belong to the attitude of, I love me “flaws and all”! I know you were not taught how to love and you were not taught how to love yourself. I had to do that through you. Now at 42, I have a better idea of how to love you and love myself.
Do you feel you have regrets or wishes for things to be different? Do you feel you’re “too old”? The unaligned parts are speaking to you, so listen.
When I listened, these are the top 5 reasons to fall in love and make peace with your younger self:
They Hold Your Vitality
- Your younger self is there to remind you of your vitality, give you spunk, attitude, humor, and creativity. These are the qualities you can access at any age. Jump on the bed, have a slumber party, or take yourself out to see a fun new movie. Or better yet, take the disciplinarian critic of your 25 year old and turn that power into motivation to stick to your dreams now. You both have your inner energy, the same energy that opens the petals of a flower, just as much as your younger self does. You bloom and grow together.
They Offer a Chance at Self-Forgiveness
- Perhaps you feel like your younger self failed you, because they didn’t attract the one that would stick around or provide you with the opportunities you thought you wanted. Your younger self did what they knew to be true for you at the time, so forgive yourself. You are a wise person, successful, and a free spirit TODAY because of the choices your younger self made YESTERDAY. You are NOW free to forgive yourself from the time constraints and “failed” expectations you put on yourself.
They Let You Know, To Age is To Love.
- It might have been the fight of your life to stay strong, stay young, stay right, stay safe, or stay protected, but to stay means to be at a standstill. No one can grow without movement. Eventually, as you age, your wings become too big and you want to fly. You are meant to age, it’s normal and so very right in the world!! A lot of years have already gone by to get you here, and there is still so much more to live. So live it and LOVE it!
They Are Your Best Teacher
- How many times have you said, “I wish I knew then, what I know now”? Of course you do…because the lessons your younger self deliver are priceless! I know my younger self taught me to stop dating “wounded birds” and to wait for healthy, reciprocal relationships. Heck yeah….All their failed lessons are now filed in your life’s education databank! From their mistakes, they taught you what to do or maybe what NOT to do. You now have choices and discernment, not judgment, thanks to your younger self.
They Always Will Be With You
- Your younger self will always be with you. Like a Russian Doll toy set, each smaller, younger one lives in you. They live within you as the openness and willingness to be excited about future opportunities. And your younger self offers love without strings, in that they thrive the best when you are being simply nothing other than yourself.
Now I move forward in my life without this kicking and screaming younger self by my side. She now holds my hand as we walk our path together and she tells me, “Remember….Age is relative and our spirit eternal”.